Friday, August 24, 2012

some photographs.

I have been strictly forbidden to share the beautiful photographs I took of our time in Bulgaria with our future son.  I understand this, in one sense.  This little boy is a citizen of Bulgaria and while we are actively and knee-deep in the process of adopting him, he is not yet ours.  I have shared what I can privately.

But there are some things I can share.

Every day, almost like clockwork, our little boy would want to climb the stairs and go back into the orphanage.  He loves to play outside.  The heat seems not to impact him.  He goes because it is lunch time, and he knows it is.  We rarely needed a watch when we were with him because he knew everything he wanted at precisely the right time.  His life is structured that way.  He took my husband's hand to climb the stairs...the stairs into the Bad Place.  It was almost heartbreaking how much he clung to that place and how comfortable he is there.

But why wouldn't he be?  This is his home.  He doesn't understand anything else.  He knows these people, these smells, these walls.  Though he may, in fact, have some cognitive deficits he is very aware and smart.  The experience of leaving this place will be traumatic for him.  We know this, even as we know there is hope on the other side.  But we would fools to think that he will magically love his new home with us.  He will - but not immediately.

THIS is his home.

I will never forget this place if I live to be a thousand years old.
The eerie silence, in spite of the dozens and dozens of children who live here...
The joy and amazement we felt when we FINALLY met him...
And the horrid feeling of having to let him go and wait...some more.

Please pray that the Minister will sign our last remaining information next week, so that we can go to court and finally go back to be with him; no longer a future son, but OUR son!


  1. Praying for a quick signature & court date!

    Our son was always ready to go back at the same time each day....very much used to the routine there. Almost 6 and still needed his naps every day.

    Soon, soon, they will be free!!

  2. Beautiful! I know how hard it is to leave and how much you miss him.

  3. Jennifer, My husband and I just had our application approved with the hope of adopting a little boy in Pleven. I have some questions for you regarding your fundraising methods and the legalities (I've heard of people having paypal accounts shut down). If you have a few moments and are willing to email please let me know. my email is Please don't post this comment on your blog. Thanks Brandi


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