and finally.

All of the words I see around this blog are in Bulgarian.  When I requested it to translate, the translations are humorous.  Instead of "publish" it says "publication" and instead of "close" it says "closing".

This has been, without a doubt, the most surreal experience I have ever personally been a part of.  I know from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes that this little one is meant to be ours. He is amazing.

Unfortunately, I have been cautioned to post photographs in this public space.  I must follow the rules.  As much as I want to share photographs in this space, I cannot.  Our facilitator has asked that we refrain.  When we return home, I will sort through photographs to determine if there are any I can share.

In the absence of photographs, it is important to communicate how joyful this trip has been.  We have met a little child who is delayed and has issues, to be sure.  But we see enormous potential here.

It is also very, very important for me to say to anyone who reads this blog two things.  First, your child's country of origin is beautiful.  I guarantee it.  Sometimes, I fear adoptive parents "demonize" their child's country of origin (not all parents, of course, but some).  It is an easy mistake to make.  The child is not valued in their country of origin and often the bureaucracy of that country makes adoption frustrating and difficult.  Thus, it is easy to think of that child's country as just one big obstacle.

Bulgaria is a beautiful place with amazing food, wonderful people and interesting sights.  It is not a perfect country. There is prejudice, poverty, inequality.  There are thoughts about children with special needs that do not coincide with what we think in America.  Again, not perfect.  However, Bulgaria is beautiful and I am proud to be given the chance to adopt one of its citizens.  I only hope I can impart that to my son when he grows.

Second, your child has developed routines where he or she lives, and your visits are likely hard on him or her.  I have seen this with my own future son.  He does not know us. He is pleasant (though sometimes he is not!) and we can tell this time with him has been hard on him. We give him attention and presents and hugs and many things that he does not normally receive.  He has an amazing Baba and she is very kind to him.  Still, the focused attention that we provide him is not his typical routine.  Joshua is clearly routine oriented.  He starts to tug on his Baba's hand when lunch time is near.  He knows where he usually goes.  This is alternatively heartening and saddening.  It makes us happy because we see he has routine and some structure; something he didn't have prior to his new Baba.  But it makes us sad because we know he will leave this routine and he won't understand.  The transition will be hard for him.  Of course we don't want this and we will pray that it goes as smoothly as possible.

It is difficult for me to decipher all of the buttons here :) but suffice to say, we are safe, happy, and very watchful of The Bad Place.  The Bad Place has made improvements, which is positive.  But all is not well.  I will describe more in future entries.  For now, thank you for your prayers and thoughts for us during this trip.