It is what is in my thoughts today as I sit to type. Children shouldn't die, but they do.
Parents shouldn't bury their children, but they do.
I followed with great interest the blog of a very wonderful family, whose daughter was stricken with a terrible disease known as Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA):
averycan.blogspot.com.
Known fondly as the "Bucket List Baby", Avery's plans were to do as many things as she could before she died of her disorder. She had a "bucket list" of things she wanted to accomplish. Sadly, her life was cut short before she could reach some of those goals. SMA took her life, and now her parents must bury their beautiful daughter.
It has only echoes of the loss our family suffered a little more than four years ago, the loss of our twin baby boys. There are stark differences, of course, but I know the feeling this family will have in some ways. They will wonder what she would have liked Elmo or Big Bird. Whether she would have preferred red or pink or green. Would she have been a girl who graduated at the top of her class? What college would she have attended? What would she have become when she grew up? What might she have looked like as a young adult? Would she find love and have children of her own someday?
Those are answers that they will never have, just as our family will never know about our boys. Would they have gotten along? Fought constantly? Would they have gone to college? Become parents of their own? What would their first car have been?
Children shouldn't die, but they do. Every day, babies are born and die. Little children, suffering with disease, die. Orphans die without families; they suffer in the Bad Place. This happens in a world that God created; imperfect and sad and sometimes beautiful and miraculous. God uses us, as fallen, imperfect people, to do good things. But bad things still happen. It is heartbreaking and sad when bad things happen.
The only thing we know for sure is twofold: First, we will not spend eternity here. We are promised an eternity with Jesus that is perfect, holy, and without pain or suffering. Second, we know that God can use all things for good. All things. Any thing. The death of a child, the suffering of others...anything. I do not believe this means God ordains these terrible things to happen, but I do believe that God can use these terrible things as a means to bring about good. Good will somehow come from the death of beautiful Avery Lynn, just as I believe good is coming from the death of Jacob and Zachary. If they were alive, we would not be rescuing their brother. That does not make their death "okay". It doesn't mean that we don't wish they were still with us - every single day we wish that.
It does mean, however, that in spite of the terrible tragedy that was the death of our sons, God is going to use this for good. God is going to help us rescue our "Ian" (soon to be Joshua) from The Bad Place. He is going to use us, and hundreds of others who pray for us and help us, to make that happen.
If nothing else, go to Avery's blog and see her sweet face; the face that now sits in shining glory. Pray for her family. Pray for the good that God has planned to come quickly for them. There is a way to donate to a life-saving clinical trial that can save future generations. If you want to do that, please do.
Thank you for helping us bring about the good that God has ordained for our family too. Your thoughts, prayers, donations, and purchases are doing that. You are part of the good. We really cannot finish this race without each follower, each person who shares our story, each person who takes just a few seconds to pray for our family, or who skips a meal out to donate in some way. I pray each day while I wash my daughter's bottles for so many who I don't know that have blessed us. I pray for you because I believe God will bless those who step forward to be part of the miracle that God is performing in our lives; to bring a new life to our family out of the ashes of our twins.
"And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)
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