happy anniversary!

Today, my husband and I have been married for eight very...interesting...years.  :)  It is amazing to realize how much we went through during that time:  three different homes, the death of our twin boys, the birth of our daughter, the adoption of our son. And a million things in between, not all of them very good and some of them wonderful.

One of the gifts that God gives to us is the restriction of seeing the future.  As much as I (and so many) want to know "what's going to happen", God doesn't allow that and He's pretty smart that way.  If I had known all of the struggles and heartaches that would happen in my marriage, would I still have made the choice to marry?  Intellect says no.  Would I have chosen to become pregnant at all?  Intellect, again, says no. 

Yet were these really wrong choices? 

Can God use all things for good for those who love Him?

This time, the Bible says yes, even if Intellect says no. 

If I could see the future with our future son, would I adopt him?

I don't know the future, but if I did, perhaps Intellect would say no.  Yet would that be the wrong decision?

Yes.

This is why God does not allow us to know the future.  Our flawed intellect does not always serve us very well.  Like the careful handler of the horses, who gently shields his eyes from the flames to lead him out of the burning barn to safety, so too is our Father in Heaven gently shielding our eyes, asking us only to trust in Him and believe with all sincerity that He is able to take the worst situations and bring them into a positive light in His own time (definitely not MINE!). 

I do not know what the future holds for my future son, just as I don't know what the future holds for my marriage.  I certainly didn't know what the future held eight years ago!  Yet, I have never looked back.  I believe that I am married to the man I will spend the rest of my life with, and I believe the little child we are connected to in Bulgaria is going to be a special addition to our family.  I trust that God will bless our efforts, and trust in His word to make all things good as we trust in Him. He has made my marriage to my husband a wonderful thing, and that is why I rejoice today; because today is the day I married the man I vowed to spend the rest of my miserable :) life with. 

We have also vowed to bring home our future son from Bulgaria.  Thank you to everyone who has helped with this effort.  Will you consider sharing our blog with someone new, someone who might be interested in our journey?  We love prayers as much as financial assistance, because financial assistance comes through the prayers and supplications.  Sometimes, it is hard to stay positive when fundraisers are not going well; when only a small handful of t-shirts have sold or when just a very few people have purchased books or bracelets or something else.  But God doesn't allow us to see the future, so we try never to feel too downtrodden when things seem bleak. 

Thank you for sharing our story, for reading and praying for us, for donating if you can, or sharing our fundraisers with others who might want to support the redemption of a child from the terrible Bad Place.  Thank you for your prayers for us on our wedding anniversary, which will likely be the very last one we have as a family of three (and two in heaven).